Hydrocodone Addiction Help

Do you have a reservation as you get into hydrocodone addiction recovery? I know when I was new I had plently of reservations. I knew I had a problem with pain medication, but a part of me thought that I could one day handle it on my own. First I had to understand what I reservation was. A reservation is that thought I tell myself that if I just had a new job, a new girlfriend, lived in a different place, or had enough money I would be able to handle my addiction to vicodine, lortab, lorcet, or whatever hydrocodone drug I could get my hands on. That is my disease talking to me. The truth is I have a track record that shows me that I could not handle my drug use in moderation. That no matter what my circumstance is, I will listen to that whisper in my head that tells me I just need that one last fix and I will be ok. In recovery I held on to reservations too, not just in active addiction. I remember my first reservation was if I could make some good money and pay all my bills on time I would be ok. Well I accomplished those goals, and soon I was back out chasing my vicodin addiction. Recovery is not just about being sociably acceptable. Hydrocodone addiction recovery is about accepting the fact that I can not use like those other earth people. I have a disease that can never have enough. When I thought that one day I would be able to use “recreationally” one day while I was trying to get clean, I always went back out. Then after those witdraws from hydrocodone came creeping back up again, and I was broke once more, I would make those empty promises “never again “ to myself.
Recovery from hydrocdone addiction is not a goal to be accomplished. It is a life long journey one day at a time. I always thought that one day at a time was a dumb cliché. That was until I started living it. That is all I have clean is this day, this moment, this second. Yesterday has come and gone and through my higher powers blessing I didn’t take a vicodin, and tomorrow has yet to come. Thinking like that makes staying clean so much easier for me. It takes away all that pressure of not doing a hydrocodone drug for the rest of my life. I only have to not do one right now.

The only way I could totally rid myself of any thought of being able to control my vicodin addiction is to be gut level honest with people that are in recovery, most importantly my sponsor. If you don’t know what a sponsor is then please give yourself a break and go to a 12-step meeting. I will talk more about sponsorship and how it is the life blood of hydrocdoone addiction recovery in a latter post. I am fortunate today to know that I will never be able to successfully use any type of pain medication. I cannot substitute it with any other type of drugs and not end up feeling those horrible hydrocodone withdrawal symptoms. I had to learn that the hard way though. A lot of people do not. If you’re reading this you do not ether. There is help out there have been where you are. No hydrocodone addict is alone if they truly want to get clean. Pick up the phone and call the doctor and tell them what your going through. Pick up the phone and ask the operator for the number to the local NA or AA hotline and get to a meeting. There is freedom from active addiction if you have finally had enough!

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