Hydrocodone Addiction Help

During the time of being an addict, I experienced the despair, loneliness and pain of addiction before deciding to enter recovery from a hydrocodone addiction. I did everything I could to control my use of drugs. I tried changing my drugs, but only to discover that I would develop a problem with another one.. I tried to moderate my drug use and only do it at certain times. I would do the pill doctor dance, and go without from time to time. I would try to go cold turkey altogether and try to convince myself that I would never do that again. I would find myself doing those things once again. Nothing I could humanly do would help me with my hydrocodone addiction. It continued to get worse and worse. Eventually I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, and sought treatment for my hydrocodone addiction. There I was able to discover narcotics anonymous. I learned that hydrocodone addiction is a progressive disease and may attack me fast, and may attack me slow. However it attacks me it’s always a downhill road. As long as I kept getting high, life got worse. Unfortunately I had to learn that the hard way. It is hard to describe addiction to someone who’s never had a substance abuse problem. There is that obsession that lives in your mind, and physically there is a compulsion to keep using. The withdrawal makes it worse. But beneath the surface of my problems of pills, laid the symptom of a greater problem I had. I was spiritually sick. I become totally self-centered through my addiction.

Most addicts go seeking help, because of the drug use is the easiest problem to see. Drug addiction is insidious. There is so many aspects of the disease. By doing a 12 step program I was able to discover all the areas in my life that my addiction had affected. By going to such meetings, I was able to talked to other addicts and discover that I was not alone. But hydrocodone addiction affects us all about the same way. I had to get over the fact that I wasn’t different, my problems were not worse than everybody else’s.

I had learned then that I was powerless, and I was hard for me to do my drug use have incessantly compulsive and the resulting I could do about it. But for the powerless came from my current times sitting alone by myself, I remember saying that I will never do this again, and in just a few days later I was back on another bender. It wasn’t until I was able to admit my powerlessness that I was open for change. The obsession I felt was not been able to stop thinking about using drugs, getting drugs, where they are, how I could get more. I just could not get it out of my mind. The compulsion was when I would irrationally act out and behave on what I was thinking, no matter the consequences.

During my drug use, I was blind to the reality all around me. It was the thing that would only say that maybe I can handle this. Maybe one day I can get it together. I was thought if I try hard enough for long enough for change one drug for another change for people places and things change, where I live or my job. Maybe my life will improve, but this failed me over and over again. This kind of thinking, but yet I clung to it. I denied my drug problem, regardless of the proof around me. I lied to myself and tried to rationalize and justify my drug use, even though my world was falling apart. My life was totally unmanageable, and even if I got nine good jobs, made all those perfect friends, or got my family back, I would still be suffering with the disease and issues that I needed to address. The only way i was able to survive was to completely change my way of thinking. But I could not see that until I get had hit my bottom, I had to have enough. Now instead of doing that pill doctor dance, I did a meeting hop dance. It took me a while to realize my life became unmanageable. But once I did. I was open-minded and willing enough to reach out for help.

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