Most of us decided to quit drugs was because we were addicted to hydrocodone. I know I didn’t put much thought into what I was starting. I was starting a hydrocodone addiction recovery is one thing to stop the Vicodin Lortab or Lorecet pill use, but you have to stop and think what you want to get out of your recovery.
First you should ask yourself, what is it that you want out of your recovery. To me this was, I want to be comfortable serene and happy. I just wanted to like myself again. Not liking myself was one of the effects of hydrocodone addiction. I didn’t know then what I do know now that I couldn’t like myself until I knew who I was.
We all have our hydrocodone addiction stories, things in our past that we hold deep inside. I had to take a deep, fearless inventory of myself and face the demons of my hydrocodone addiction. I could do this by taking a fearless inventory. It was a means of letting go in spite my fear. It was a means of having the courage to take this action no matter how I felt about it. But none of this was for not, if I didn’t have the courage to be honest with myself. The inability to be completely honest with myself was one of the side effects of hydrocodone addiction. I had to have faith in the process of my recovery and trust in my higher power.
If I could look at the disease of hydrocodone addiction removed of its main symptoms. That is separated from the drug user compulsive behaviors, and without its most playing characteristics that would find a mass of self-centered fear. We can be afraid of being hurt or having feelings that are too strong. So we only get the benefits of half our life. Simply going through the motions of living but not fully living. Sometimes I’m afraid of things that could possibly make me feel, so than I isolate, withdraw from society. I can be afraid of rejection and society not liking me. So then I would continue to use opiate drugs. So I would feel more comfortable with myself. I used to be constantly afraid that I would be caught doing something, anything, and I could be caught and have to pay a price for these actions. So then I would cheat and lie on people close to me, in order to protect myself. Oftentimes I was afraid of being alone, which would then lead me to exploiting other people’s feelings. So I wouldn’t feel alone and abandoned or rejected.What were the worst feelings is thinking I can never have enough enough hydrocodone, Lortab, Vicodin, Lorecet, money ,sex,and attention. The list goes on and on. This lead me to a pattern of selfish pursuit of whatever I wanted, no matter what the cost, no matter whose feelings are hurt. Oftentimes when I gain something after recovering from hydrocodone I would be afraid of losing it. So then I would start compromising on my spiritual principles. For my hydrocodone addiction treatment to work. I need to remove myself of the self-centeredness self-seeking fear and start walking the path of my higher power.
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